a pleasant dream

what a pleasant dream.

i was wearing a turquoise baju kurung and he was wearing a darker color baju melayu maybe dark green. He was as always tall and handsome. It was the first time i went into his house. The house was all cream and bright. Then i saw his mum. His mum was wearing pink and beautiful as ever. We both walked toward his mum and I salam her.  She gave me her sweetest smile and asked my name. I hesitated for a second, what should i make her call me i mean different people call me different names. Should i tell her that i’ve met her before? years back when she asked me my name. At that time because my first name was difficult to pronounce so i decided to go with Rafiqa. Rafiqa sounds pretty and feminine and that was the first time i let someone call me by that name. But years after, now, i think she has already forgotten me or my name so I decided to go for the simple ‘Haz’. I was afraid it will be awkward cause he used to call me by my first name but i want him to know that i’m not the same hazreeni like before. I’ve changed.


He was nice but i don’t remember him talking. After that i did some dishes and he was by my side. My back accidentally touches his but when i turned around it was his friend wearing the same color as mine. He was laughing and i smiled back and went away to look for him. Then i found him in the middle of the crowd carrying his small nephew. I recognized his 5 years old nephew, he adores him so much. I went closer and he gave me his nephew to me. He was so small that i was afraid i might break him. I babysit him for a while but out of the blue his nephew vanishes from my view. I panicked, mostly because i was afraid he might be mad. I searched high and low and met some old friends of mine. Then I saw the nephew. He was dancing out in the rain. I pushed open the sliding door and went after him. The rain pours down and made my whole baju kurung wet. But i don’t give the slighest care. All i know is that i have to protect the nephew. I have to protect him. I hugged him and carried him in.

At that time there’s only one thing i remember; I want him to know that I’m not going to hurt him. That i’m capable of being the one he wanted, again.

I wanted him, and i want him to want me back


Then i woke up. It was sweet and bitter.


it’s been a while.

and yeah i like to write it in details so i won’t forget it and to practice my writing. I want to practice putting my imagination into writings. I don’t usually dream or remember my dream so every time i do, i want to pin it down.



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